Proper Nouns: Names

"It must be difficult for kids to differentiate between regular words and proper, capitalized words," Shameless Shirley once told me. "And brand names must make things more confusing still."

"It's true. I remember those games lasting forever with my mother refusing to go easy on me. I'd try to play an abbreviation or my brother's name and she would shoot it right down. Then I'd take another ten minutes before playing a word like IT or THE."

"At least she was trying to be helpful."

"True. There's no skill more useful than the ability to play Scrabble correctly." I was joking of course, but I still don't remember beating her until I was in my late teens. Part of the problem might have been the television I was watching.



Aside from the fact that this race looks like borderline child abuse, Xuxa seems to be clueless to the fact that her name is not a viable Scrabble word. Why this game is called Scrabble at all is beyond me, however, some proper names are acceptable plays. If my nine year-old self had known them I might have been able to turn the tables on my mom.

Most of these proper nouns were words before they were ever names. PENNY, GRACE, and CHASE are a few self-explanatory examples. Nevertheless, sometimes a name becomes a word of its own accord. JOE and JANE, meaning a man and a woman respectively, are acceptable because of their simplicity and commonness.

Although my real name is not a playable word, WILLY NELSON and JIMMY CARTER would be pleased to know that both their names are allowed.

I conclude this week with a list of acceptable H names to further confuse the youthful Scrabble player inside you.

HALE, adj., healthy
HANK, v., to fasten a sail; n., a length of thread or yarn
HANSEL, v., to give a gift; n., a gift
HARPER, n., one who plays the harp
HARRY, v., to harass or annoy
HECTOR, v., to torture or bully
HENRY, n., a unit of inductance
HERB, n., a flowering, non-woody plant
HERBY, adj., full of herbs
HOLLY, n., a tree
HOMER, v., to hit a home run; n., a home run
HOPE, v., to feel something will a happen; n., a desire or wish
HOYLE, n., a book of rules

-Jiff Z. Moneyer

Crossword Nightmares

"I'm in vowel hell over here," Shameless Shirley exclaimed with great frustration.

I knew exactly how she felt. A rack of all vowels is one of the most difficult situations a player can encounter in Scrabble. Not only are these tiles worth one measly point each, but the longest word that consists of just vowels, EAU, is a mere three characters long. After a little pondering, Shirley did manage to make a pretty descent 16 point play using some consonants already on the board, yet was alarmed to find she had drawn two more vowels.

When faced with this scenario, your options are very limited. You can always swap tiles in the hope of a better draw, but this also passes the turn to your opponent, giving him/her a chance to build up a bigger lead. I personally try to avoid swapping at all costs. Instead, I attempt to use as many tiles as possible without going for the highest possible score. With this method I can get some new letters and gather up a few points as well to keep my opponent from running away with the game.

Of course, vowel block is not the lowest circle of Scrabble hell.

This is a closed board, a board on which it is very difficult to make a play. After the first four turns of a recent game, the tiles were in this nightmarish configuration. In fact the scenario was so bad, I only had one possible play. See if you can find it in my letters.

Q U A V W I A

The final score of this game did not end up being very high because it remained very hard to create words throughout the game. While sometimes it's good to clump tiles together and create two or three words in one play, there's something to be said for opening up the board. The best players know when to use both methods to achieve the highest scores.

Maybe the worst punishment for any Scrabble player is the lexical obsession it creates. Some zealous people create flashcards of common seven-letter words to get an inside edge. Other players begin to dream letter tiles. (Shameless Shirley once dreamed of a Scrabble game where she kept saying to herself, "If only I had an R.") Another person might become crazy enough to start a whole blog about a silly board game. In any case, as the obsession grows, games become more and more intense until one day you build your own stairway down to Hades.

Maybe the only way to end Scrabble hell is to freeze it over, so this week I have selected all the four-letter words that contain ICE. Hopefully these words will save you from a fate as nerdy as mine.

BICE, n., a pale blue pigment
DICE, n.pl. of DIE, a cube used for games; v., to cut into cubes
FICE, n., a small, snappy, mixed-breed dog
ICED, v.perf. of ICE, to cool with ice; adj., very cold
ICES, v.pres. of ICE, to cool with ice; n.pl. of ICE, frozen water
LICE, n.pl. of LOUSE, a small parasitic insect
MICE, n.pl. of MOUSE, a small rodent
NICE, adj., neat, pleasant, pretty
PICE, n., a former coin of India and Pakistan
RICE, n., a cereal plant; v., to mash into very small pieces
SICE, n., a male servant of India
VICE, n., a bad habit; adj., lower in status than

-Jiff Z. Moneyer

ʍɐɔ :ɹǝʍsu∀

Letter Words

"Why do we need words for specific letters?" Shameless Shirley asked me after playing the word DEE.

"I don't know," I responded. "Not every English letter has its own word either. There aren't really any words for the vowels . . . or H."

"That's interesting. How would you spell H?"

"A-I-C-H."

"It sounds like eight, so I think I'd spell it E-I-T-C-H."

Aside from the difference in diphthongs and compound consonants, both Shirley's spelling and my spelling for H look appropriate. This is precisely why words for English letters can be so confusing. For the most part, these letter words are pronunciation guides, even though there are many different ways of combining letters to create similar sounds. For example, the acceptable form for Y is WYE despite the fact that it is a homophone of the interrogative WHY. Although they are not valid, the sounds formed by "wie," "wy," and "whi" also seem acceptable.

Sometimes these words refer more to the shape of a given character rather than the letter itself. For this reason, EL and TEE are useful words for carpentry and engineering. Additionally, sometimes letter words mean other things all together as in the cases of BEE and JAY. In other cases such as Q (KUE), things are a bit more complicated.

As I mentioned before, there are no words for A, E, I, O, and U. These vowels are impossible to form into words because they stand alone as their own pronunciation guides. H has no word for the opposite reason. The letter H ("aich" or "eitch") does not give much of a clue as to what sound an H will make. In fact, H is more of a hard breathing than a letter.

All the letters of the Greek alphabet from ALPHA to OMEGA are acceptable letter words. For some reason, other alphabets are used more sparingly. The first letters of the Arabic and International NATO alphabets, ALIF and ALFA respectively, are viable Scrabble plays, but other letters are not valid. The Old English rune for W (WYNN) also stands alone, possibly because there is no other word for W. I also enjoy the British letter word ZED more than the more American ZEE.

In honor of a friend who just finished his Masters in Hebrew Letters, today's word list contains all the acceptable forms of the Hebrew alphabet. Greek and Hebrew are the only complete alphabets in the Scrabble dictionary, but while Greek is fairly straightforward, Hebrew has many alternate Anglicized spellings. Remember, all these words can be pluralized under normal rules as well!

א ALEF, ALEPH
ב BES, BET, BETH, VET
ג  GIMEL
ד DALEDH, DALETH
ה HE, HEH
ו   VAU, VAV, VAW, WAW
ז   ZAYIN
ח CHETH, HET, HETH, KHET, KHETH
ט TET, TETH
י   YOD, YODH
כ KAF, KAPH, KHAF, KHAPH
ל LAMED, LAMEDH
מ MEM
נ   NUN
ס SAMECH, SAMEK, SAMEKH
ע AIN, AYIN
פ FE, FEH, PE, PEH
צ SADE, SADHE, SADI, TSADE, TSADI
ק KOPH, QOPH
ר RESH
ש  SIN, SHIN
ת TAV

-Jiff Z. Moneyer

Dirty Three-Letter Words

When I play an online Scrabble game, the Tournament Word List (English TWL) is my dictionary of choice, but when I play Shameless Shirley online, I use the Merriam-Webster version (English MW or OSPD4). What's the difference? The TWL is slightly longer because it is uncensored.

"I can admit that I don't like the ethnic slurs," I told her, "but I can't justify taking them out of the game because they're still words."

"They simply take the focus away from the game," Shirley responded.

"What about the big swears like 'fuck' or 'shit'. Those are very common words that you hear everyday."

"I don't think any of them should be allowed." Part of me agrees with her. Frankly, I believe that more common swears are tamer than some of the other dirty words. Other times, my dictionary preference can simply make things harder. Consider one of my recent games.

Before my opponent played the word CLOUD and created an ethnic slur, I was looking for a way to use all my tiles by putting an S on the front of MUG. If I had been playing with the expurgated dictionary, my opponent's play would have been invalid and my spot would have been usable. Ironically, I later discovered that the tiles in my possession also formed, along with 43 other seven-letter words, an obscene anagram. See if you can find it.

R D I S * E A

Despite the censorship, sometimes dirty words still make it into the OSPD4 because they have other, legitimate meanings. For example, ASS, despite being a rude term for the buttocks, is still in the abridged dictionary because it refers to the animal. The word CUM is also deemed acceptable because it is a preposition meaning together with, not because it refers to ejaculate. In the case of PEE, things become more complicated. It is an acceptable word, but only as a noun meaning the letter P. Since the verb form denotes a slang term for urination, PEED and PEEING are only found in the TWL.

Another acceptable swear is FAG. This word has gone through a number of transformations over the years and still has a number of acceptable meanings. However, playing this word can still give you pause for thought.

The F Word

Tags: 

SOUTH

PARK

more...

This week's list contains all of the three-letter words that are banned from most casual play. Remember, these words can still be used in tournaments and games using the TWL dictionary so they are not altogether useless, but use them with care.

ABO, n., pl -S, an aborigine
          This Australian term is an offensive slur for native aborigines.

GOY, n., pl. -S, a non-Jew
          This Yiddish term is not altogether offensive since it can also refer to a nation, but it is also considered a mild slur. The alternative GENTILE is acceptable.

HOS, n.pl., whores; sexually loose women
          While the word HO is an interjection of discovery (as in land ho!), the plural form is misogynistic.

JEW, v., -S, -ED, -ING, to bargain for an unfair price
          This is the despicable word that began the whole Scrabble censorship debate. In the early 90's a woman named Judith Grad came across it in her dictionary and began a campaign to purge the game of foul language. She mustered up enough support to catch the attention of Merriam-Webster and the National Scrabble Association, forcing them to create a new word list that would be acceptable for school and recreational play.

LES, n., pl. -ES, a lesbian
LEZ, n., pl. -ES, a lesbian
          These two words are mild slurs for female homosexuals.

POM, n., pl. -S, a person of British descent
          This slur also comes from Australia and refers to people from the United Kingdom. It is believed that many of the British immigrants to Australia during the 1800's came off their boats reddened by the length of the journey. Since they were the color of pomegranates, the offensive term POM or POMMIE came into use.

POO, v., -S, -ED, -ING, to defecate
          This childish term is my least favorite English word. Even though it is fairly tame, I am glad to see it purged from most games.

WOG, n., pl. -S, a dark-skinned person, usually of Mediterranean or Middle Eastern ancestry
          This slur comes from the United Kingdom and once again refers to immigrants. It is a shortened form of GOLLIWOG (an acceptable word) which is a black-faced minstrel doll. L. Ron Hubbard also used this term to refer to non-Scientologists.

WOP, n., pl. -S, a person of Italian descent
          The story that this word is an acronym for WithOut Papers is false. There is no evidence that Ellis Island ever marked immigrants in such a way. Instead, it most likely derives from the Spanish "guapo" which means an effeminate or pretty man.

YID, n., pl. - S, a person of Jewish descent
          This is yet another anti-Semitic term. Enough said.

-Jiff Z. Moneyer

sǝıʞɹɐp :ɹǝʍsu∀

Pluralizing With X

"French words," remarked Shameless Shirley, "seem to have a bunch of letters you don't even pronounce."

"I just like them because they get rid of excess vowels," I explained. In my previous turn I had played the word TOILE (pronounced twal) across the board and I was now looking for a way to hook another letter onto it. Gazing at my R, I muttered, "I wonder if 'twaler' [TOILER] is a word. You know, like a person who weaves linen."

Laughing, Shirley replied, "It's a word alright, but I think you mean 'toyler,' like a peasant who toils in the fields."

English may be the hardest language in the world to learn, and I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of William the Conqueror. When the Normans succeeded in invading the Anglo-Saxons a millennium ago, William encouraged his men to marry the local women. A few generations later, the Teutonic language of the isle and the Romantic language of Gaul, each with very different pronunciations and letter combinations, had meshed into the beginnings of a totally new English.

Nowadays, modern words can be very difficult to pronounce without prior knowledge. The idea that TOIL and TOILE have such divergent pronunciations just because of the addition of a silent E is a very hard concept for native speakers, let alone a person learning English later in his/her life.

Some words, despite the years of melding, still appear to be more French than English.

A portmanteau is a large carrying case for clothing and other necessities that unfolds into two equal parts. It is also defined as a word that is a mash-up of two different words. For example, LIGER is a portmanteau word that combines LION and TIGER. The X at the end of PORTMANTEAU pluralizes it. In French, certain words that end in U take an X instead of an S to indicate more than one. Some of those forms made there way into English.

This week's list contains all the English words of six letters and under that can be pluralized with an X. You may notice that many of these forms can also take the normal S plural as well; however, both the S and the X are pronounced with the same "z" sound. Could this language get any more confusing? Unfortunately, it does.

ADIEU, n., pl. -S or -X, a farewell

BATEAU, n., pl -X, a flat-bottomed boat

BEAU, n., pl. -S or -X, a boyfriend

BIJOU, n., pl. -S or -X, a jewel

BUREAU, n., pl. -S or -X, a chest of drawers; an office; a department of government

COTEAU, n., pl. -X, a highland above a valley

EAU, n., pl. -X, water

GATEAU, n., pl. -S or -X, a fancy cake

JEU, n., pl. -X, a game

MILIEU, n., pl. -S or -X, an environment

RESEAU, n., pl -S or -X, a network; a color filter for a camera

-Jiff Z. Moneyer

Words With Two or More I's

By the expression on her face, I could tell that Shameless Shirley was looking for a play that would use all of her tiles. Her eyes darted back and forth as she arranged and rearranged anagrams in her mind. She possessed only common, one-point letters:

E R N A I T I

After considering the play VAINER with a V already on the board, Shirley reluctantly chose DETAIN which grabbed up a double word score. "I can see some six-letter words," she exclaimed, "but
I can't think of one that uses the extra I."

"There is one word," I informed her. "Think physics." Scroll to the bottom to find the answer.

My least favorite vowel to draw in Scrabble is I. It is not very hard to use just one since it is the third most common letter (only E and S are in more words), but using two or more at the same time is a real challenge. It seems like you need a college degree in an applied science to know these words. In addition, unlike every other vowel, there are no three-letter moves that contain 2 I's. Nevertheless, there are a few different ways to rid your rack of excess I's. Consider the following hypothetical game.

If I had a nightmare about Scrabble, this is the board that would inhabit it. Luckily the chances of this board occurring in a regulation game are astronomically low, however it does illustrate a some good examples of science words and suffixes that may be quite useful the next time you need to get rid of some I's. Here are just a few of them.

-IC Words: For the most part, words that end with -IC form adjectives that pertain to the root word (IDIOTIC, ACIDIC, etc.). In chemistry, an -IC word denotes a chemical element with a higher concentration of oxygen atoms per molecule than one with the suffix -OUS; thus, nitrous acid (HNO2) has a lower oxidation number than nitric acid (HNO3).

-IN Words: Once again, this suffix relates to chemistry, forming a wide variety of names for different compounds. These chemicals include proteins (RICIN), dyes (ALIZARIN), and flavorings (VANILLIN).

-ITIS Words: This medical suffix denotes an inflammation of a particular body part. IRITIS is an inflammation of the iris; CARDITIS is an inflammation of the heart.

Finally, this week's list contains four-letter words that have I's as their second and fourth letters. Sometimes a game presses you to make a move that ends with an I, so it's always good to have a few short words up your sleeve to fill the spot.

BIDI, n., a thin cigarette from India

HILI, n.pl. of HILUS, an opening in a body organ

KIWI, n., a flightless bird; a fruit

LIRI, n.pl. of LIRA, a monetary unit of Malta

MIDI, n., a skirt that ends mid-calf

MINI, n., a smaller version of something

MIRI, n.pl. of MIR, a Russian peasant commune

NIDI, n.pl. of NIDUS, an animal nest; a birthplace

NISI, conj., if not; unless; except

PIKI, n., a bread made of blue cornmeal

PILI, n., a Philippine tree; n.pl. of PILUS, a hair or hairlike structure

TIKI, n., a carved image of a Polynesian god

TIPI, n., alternate form of TEPEE, a conical Native American tent

TITI, n., an evergreen shrub, a South American monkey

ZITI, n., a tubular pasta

-Jiff Z. Moneyer

ɐıʇɹǝuı :ɹǝʍsu∀

Opening Move

Shameless Shirley, my good friend and constant word game companion, is a much happier player when she has the first turn in a game of Scrabble. If a draw for play order goes my way three or more games in a row, she begins to question the very idea of probability. "It's not fair," she sighs, "you always get to go first." My answer is always the same. "Don't forget the first scene of 'Rosencrantz and Guilenstern Are Dead.'"




Certainly there is an advantage to going first in a game. The opening move receives an automatic double word score, a word of five letters or more will get an additional double letter score, and there is no need to worry about where to put your tiles. The board is a blank slate just waiting for you to set the tone and tempo. The tough part becomes forcing a higher scoring tile toward either the beginning or the end of the word. Let's take an example:

T W E L T A S

There are many different plays here, but the W is the only letter worth more than one point so it is important to get it to the beginning or end of the word for maximum scoring. This particular example has no five-letter words that end in W, but try to find five five-letter words that begin with it. There is also one six-letter word and one-seven-letter word. Answers are at the bottom.

The opening move may be the easiest time to use all your tiles at once because you don't have to worry about hooking your word to anything else, but you have to have a pretty thorough vocabulary of old, obsolete, and obscure words if you want to take advantage very often. Consider the highest scoring opening move in the game.

If you are ever lucky enough to have this 128 point play, you may not even know it. It is a very odd combination of letters. The word is an alternate plural spelling of muzhik or mujik which is defined as a Russian peasant. It is also an archaic term that refers to the time before the Bolshevik Revolution.

Even though you will probably never be able to pull off one of these rare plays I will close with a list of the eight highest scoring starting plays just in case. Lady Luck may surprise you.

MUZJIKS, n.pl., a Russian peasant, 128 points

BEZIQUE, n., a card game, 124 points

CAZIQUE, n., a tropical bird; a Latin American tribal leader, 124 points

MEZQUIT, n., a deciduous tree, 124 points

KOLHOZY, n.pl., a collective farm in Russia, 122 points

SOVKHOZ, n. a state owned farm in the former Soviet Union, 122 points

ZINKIFY, v., to coat with zinc (an element), 122 points

ZOMBIFY, v., to turn into a zombie (undead creature), 122 points

-Jiff Z. Moneyer

  sǝlʇʇɐʍ 'ǝlʇʇɐʍ 'sʇlǝʍ 'slɐǝʍ 'sʇʇɐʍ 'ǝʇsɐʍ 'sǝlɐʍ :sɹǝʍsu∀